circle takes the square

I am now, officially, back to square one. After a long, painfully honest, and self-indulgently insecure conversation with zafar last night, I think I am pretty close to where I was before I started liking someone again. Sigh. I am totally not mature enough to handle my emotions. But waitaminute. They *are* MY emotions. But, ah, herein lies the problem - they are my emotions, I own them, I identify with them, but just as easily as I feel them, I give them away. Which is bad, especially if you're trying to shore up your sense of self. Because having to dailyweeklymontlyyearly, every second, every minute shore yourself up while at the same time giving away your power is exhausting. It's self-defeating. So I'm trying not to give myself away anymore.